Escape to Paradise: Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers – My Slightly Chaotic, Utterly Human Review!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to spill the (delicious, probably olive oil-infused) tea on Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers. This place… well, it claims to be paradise. And hey, maybe it is. Maybe it's just my ridiculously high expectations combined with a caffeine deficiency that's preventing me from fully feeling it. But I'll be brutally honest, because that's what we're here for, right?
SEO & Metadata Overload – (But I Gotta Get Paid, Folks!)
- Keywords: Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers, France, Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Pool, Restaurant, Wi-Fi, Family Friendly, Pet Friendly (maybe!), Luxury, Relaxation, Travel, Best Hotels, French Riviera, Accommodation, Wheelchair Accessible, Fitness Center, Massage, Dining, Safety, Cleanliness.
- Title: Escape to Paradise? My Honest, Slightly Messy Review of Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers!
- Meta Description: My unfiltered take on Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers: From the amazing pool to the quirky coffee shop, the accessibility to the attempts at serenity. Get the REAL scoop before you book!
(Deep Breath) Let's Dive In!
Getting In (and Getting Around): Accessibility & All That Jazz
Alright, let's start with the nitty-gritty: accessibility. This is crucial for me, and Le Clos Des Oliviers mostly delivers. They boast wheelchair accessibility, which, let's be real, is a huge win right off the bat. The elevator is a godsend (essential!), and I saw facilities for disabled guests listed. Now, I didn't personally test everything out, but the bones seem good. This is a big plus for a hotel.
Pro-Tip: Always double-check and specify your needs when booking. Don’t just assume!
My First Impression – (or, How I Lost My Mind Trying to Find Parking)
Okay, so the car park [free of charge] is listed. Sounds dreamy, right? Well, finding a spot felt like a treasure hunt worthy of Indiana Jones. It was a bit of a free-for-all. I eventually snagged a spot, but the whole "parking" experience left me feeling a tad frazzled. Maybe valet parking would have been worth the splurge just for the peace of mind.
Then the front desk [24-hour] was lovely. They seemed genuinely happy to see me, which, after the parking debacle, was a relief. Check-in/out [express] is available, which I appreciate, although I did enjoy the slower pace when I finally checked out.
Rooms – My Sanctuary (Mostly!)
My room?! Okay, let's be honest, it was gorgeous. The air conditioning was a lifesaver (especially after that parking ordeal!), and the blackout curtains enabled me to sleep in. The bed was comfy, and they had a desk, which was good for pretending to work, and the Wi-Fi [free] worked flawlessly. The bathroom was clean and beautifully appointed with a separate shower/bathtub. They even gave you bathrobes and slippers! I felt like a celebrity!
The Dark Side (Minor Annoyances):
- I couldn't quite get the Internet access – LAN working, but hey, I didn’t even really try.
- One (minor) thing: the window that opens didn't have a great view. I didn't really care about it, but if I was a high-maintenance guest, I might have asked for a room with a better view.
Dining, Drinking, & Snacking – Oh, the Food! (and the Wine!)
This is where Le Clos Des Oliviers truly shines. The restaurants are seriously impressive. The A la carte in the restaurant was fantastic (I got the fish; it was exquisite!), and they have a vegetarian restaurant too. The Asian cuisine in restaurant, I didn't try. I should have, but, you know, priorities.
The breakfast [buffet] was a masterpiece. Everything, from the pastries to the fruit, was fresh and delicious. They also offered Asian breakfast which I, tragically, skipped. They had a poolside bar, a coffee shop, and a snack bar for those mid-afternoon cravings.
My Biggest Foodie Moment: I spent more than an hour at the happy hour and I may have consumed ALL the desserts in the restaurant. No regrets. Seriously.
About the cleanliness… Because, You Know, COVID:
They've got this down. I saw Hand sanitizer, and what felt like a mountain of it, everywhere. They also seemed to be doing major Daily disinfection in common areas. They seemed serious about the Physical distancing of at least 1 meter and Rooms sanitized between stays.
The Zen Zone – Relaxation & Pampering
This is where it gets interesting. The spa/sauna facilities looked luxurious. I spent a solid hour in the Sauna and the Steamroom. The Spa itself, offered Body scrubs and Body wraps and the massage was the best. Pool with view gave me the perfect vibes.
The Slightly Less Zen Moments: The Fitness center was adequate, but I also felt a bit intimidated. And the foot bath? I'm still not sure what I was supposed to do, other than put my feet in it, and then what? I have no idea! It’s not like I can be professional here and have all the answers.
Extra Goodies: Services and Conveniences
They have everything! Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Laundry Service, Luggage storage. You name it. They have it. There is even a gift/souvenir shop, so you can grab a little something for your Aunt Mildred, or, you know, yourself.
For the Kids & Those Who Kid
Although I don't have kids, I did see evidence of those little ones being welcomed. They have babysitting service, kids facilities, and I'm pretty sure I saw a kids meal on the menu. So if you are those with "offspring", it looked like paradise for the kids too!
The Bottom Line (My Slightly Chaotic, Ultimately Positive Verdict!)
Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers is a fantastic option. Is it perfect? Nope. Nothing is. The parking situation and the slightly confusing foot bath were minor annoyances. But the food, the spa, the rooms, and the overall vibe? Absolutely worth it. The staff is lovely, the location is stunning (I think… I got lost, so I'm not entirely sure where I actually was), and I left feeling incredibly relaxed (after a solid four hours of complaining about the internet).
Would I go back? Absolutely. But next time, I'm taking a taxi, and I'm booking a massage every day. And maybe figuring out what to do with a foot bath.
Barcelona's Hidden Gem: Hotel Grums - Unbeatable Luxury!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, 'cause we're about to dive HEADFIRST into my chaotic adventure at Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers in Bourg-Saint-Andeol, France. Prepare for a train wreck of a schedule, punctuated by moments of pure, unadulterated joy, interspersed with the existential dread of realizing you packed the wrong socks. Let's do this!
Day 1: Arrival – Or, How I Became One with Provence (and My Luggage Slightly Vanished)
- 9:00 AM (Roughly): Arrive at Lyon-Saint Exupéry Airport. Okay, so the "roughly" is because the EasyJet flight was, shall we say, optimistic with its arrival time. Delayed. Of course. Which meant a mad dash for the rental car, fueled by lukewarm airport coffee and a primal urge to NOT miss the connection.
- 11:00 AM (More or less): Finally, the rental car (a gloriously dented Citroen C3, I've christened "Geraldine") is in my grasp. Feeling like a rally driver, I hit the gas and promptly get lost. Twice. Google Maps, you treacherous temptress!
- *Anecdote: I remember being convinced I was going the wrong way, I was feeling extremely anxious and was driving really fast. I realized I had forgotten my phone and immediately shouted "Geraldine!, you're going the wrong way!"
- 1:00 PM: Arrive (eventually) at Logis Hotel Le Clos des Oliviers. The relief! The sheer, glorious relief of finding the place. It's even prettier than the pictures. Stone walls, overflowing with flowers, a courtyard that whispers of Provence. Okay, I'm already swooning.
- *Quirky Observation: Seriously, I walked in and I immediately began "Ah, the smell of Lavender, there's a cat here" then I immediately knew I was in Provence.
- 1:15 PM: Check-in. The receptionist, a delightful woman named Marie, with eyes that could curdle milk or make you fall madly in love (I'm still unsure), tells me my luggage isn't here. "It must have been sent to Lyon" she says. But, my entire life is in that luggage! My pajamas, MY HAIRBRUSH! I internally scream.
- *Emotional Reaction: Momentarily, I lose my mind. I see myself in tatters going without for days on end.
- 2:00 PM: After some panicked phone calls and deep breathing, I'm advised to relax. "It will arrive tomorrow, madame." Easy for you to say, Marie! So, I decide to embrace the situation… with a large glass of rosé. Problem solved.
- 2:30 PM: Hotel room: a haven of peace, with a balcony overlooking the pool. I can almost forgive the missing luggage. Almost.
- 3:00 PM: Wander around the cute little village of Bourg-Saint-Andeol. I discover the Romanesque church, and it is beautiful. Find a little bakery for a quick snack.
- 4:00 PM: Explore a bit. There are places that are quite pretty, it's a very quiet area, but it does have some nice spots.
- 5:00 PM: Dip in the pool. It is cool. I didn't realize how tired I was until I was splashing about.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the hotel restaurant. The food? Ooh-la-la. Honestly, I had the best lamb, and a bottle of wine that Marie recommended, I don't know how to explain it, I'm not even a big lamb person.
- *Opinionated Language: I'm convinced this is the best meal I've had this year. This, this is what life is all about.
- 9:00 PM: Collapse in bed. Thank god I have a toothbrush in my purse.
Day 2: Lavender Fields and Existential Crises (and the Glorious Return of My Luggage!)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Damn, I'm happy this morning. The best sleep ever.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. Now, this is a meal. Fresh bread, local jams, coffee… the works. I eat enough to feed a small army.
- 10:00 AM: The moment of truth! My stuff! A wave of sheer joy washes over me. I may have hugged the delivery guy. Don't judge.
- 11:00 AM: A drive through lavender fields. I could do some hiking, but the main thing is the lavender. The air buzzes with bees, and that smell… it's intoxicating. I stop the car in a field and just… breathe.
- *Doubling Down on an Experience: I spend a solid hour just *being* in the lavender. Taking pictures, smelling it, feeling the sun on my skin. I start to cry. It is so beautiful it hurts!
- 1:00 PM: Lunch in a charming village. I'm honestly not too fussed about the food, the people can speak french, it's what it's meant to be. I tried, I made several grammatical errors.
- 3:00 PM: A moment of reflection and a quick walk through the town. I'm struck by just how much the towns are connected to the land, people here clearly take pride in what they do.
- 5:00 PM: Back at the hotel for a siesta. No shame. After all this adventuring time.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the hotel again, because, you know, the lamb. I'm a simple woman.
- 9:00 PM: More wine, contemplation, watching the stars. Living the dream.
Day 3: The Pont d'Arc and My Uncoordinated Attempts at Adventure
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. This is, honestly, the best routine ever.
- 10:00 AM: Trip to the Pont d'Arc. It is a natural arch that stretches over the Ardéche River. The views are mind-blowing! I hire a kayak.
- 11:00 AM: Attempt to kayak. This, my friends, is where the "uncoordinated" part comes in. The kayak is a battle, the river is fast flowing, and I spend more time looking like a capsized turtle than a graceful paddler.
- *Messier Structure and Occasional Rambles: And then, as if the river wasn't challenging enough, I swear there were tiny, biting fish attacking my toes! I saw the beauty of the arch, the water was cold, it was an exhilarating experience, but I'm pretty sure I looked like a complete idiot.
- 1:00 PM: Exhausted, both from the kayaking and from laughing at myself, I find a little cafe and eat a pizza whilst watching other (much more skilled) kayakers.
- 3:00 PM: Visit a nearby village, wander through the streets, buy some local delicacies.
- 5:00 PM: I decide to take a break, and take a nap.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant, a bit further afield.
- 9:00 PM: Pack my bags, I reflect on the past few days and realize I had forgotten how much I love myself and the company I keep. I'm ready to leave.
Day 4: Departure (and a Promise to Return)
- 9:00 AM: One last breakfast. I am going to miss it.
- 10:00 AM: Check out. I say goodbye to Marie, with a promise to come back. She smiles. I can see it in her eyes.
- 11:00 AM: Drive to Lyon-Saint Exupéry Airport, sadly.
- *Stronger emotional reactions: Driving away from the hotel, I felt a pang of sadness. I realize the experience was so healing.
- 1:00 PM: Drop off the car.
- 2:00 PM: Fly home.
So, there you have it. A slightly messy, definitely honest, and hopefully amusing account of my adventure at Logis Hotel Le Clos Des Oliviers. It wasn't perfect, it was sometimes awkward, and I may have embarrassed myself more than once. But it was real. And it was wonderful. And I can't wait to go back. Au revoir, Provence! Until next time!
Cantley House Hotel: Wokingham's BEST Kept Secret? (Luxury Awaits!)
The REALLY Messy FAQ: Let's Get Real About Stuff
So, like, what *is* this thing anyway? This... FAQ?
Why is everything so… long?
Okay, fine. But *specifically*, what *are* we talking about today?
Oh, and I'm not responsible for any mental scarring that may occur. Consider yourself warned.
Is any of this… *useful*?
What if I disagree with everything you say?
Are you always this… *unstable*?
What's the deal with the soufflé? You mentioned it.
The reality? A culinary train wreck. The first one… collapsed. Like, flat as a pancake. Humiliating. I tried again. And again. Same result. I swear, the oven and I had a personal vendetta going. I’m pretty sure it was laughing at me. I recall the frantic whisking, the egg whites that refused to cooperate, the growing sense of doom, and then the final, heartbreaking deflation.
I ended up ordering pizza. And the memory still haunts me.
The point? Sometimes, things don't go as planned. Sometimes you fail spectacularly. And that's okay. At least you get a good story out of it. And a craving for pizza. (It was a *really* good pizza, actually).
Do you ever get tired of this?
Any advice? Seriously, any advice?
* Be kind to yourself. More than you think you need to. Seriously. We're all flawed messes, flailing around in the dark. * Embrace the chaos. Life is messyHotel Adventure
