Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Thana Apartment in Chonburi Awaits!
Escape to Paradise? (Well, Chonburi Paradise at Least!) My Dream Thana Apartment Review – The Honest Truth
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just came back from my "dream" escape to this Thana apartment in Chonburi, and, well… it was an experience. Let’s break it down, shall we? This isn’t going to be some polished travel brochure, folks. This is the raw, unfiltered truth from someone who just lived it.
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- Title: Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Thana Apartment in Chonburi Awaits! – A Review (Honest & Unfiltered)
- Keywords: Thana Apartment Chonburi, Thailand, Chonburi Hotels, Accessible Hotels, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Internet, Wireless Internet, Wheelchair Accessible, Reviews, Chonburi Vacation, Dream Vacation, Family Friendly, Air Conditioning, Breakfast Included, Travel, Holiday
- Meta Description: My real review of the Thana Apartment in Chonburi! Learn the good, the bad, and the "oh-dear-god-did-that-really-happen?" moments. Accessibility, food, Wi-Fi, safety – I cover it all!
Accessibility: (Did they even think about people with… challenges?)
The elevator was a lifesaver. Seriously. But… and there’s always a but, isn't there? While the elevator was a win, the ramps to the pool were… let's just say, built by someone who clearly doesn’t use a wheelchair. Steep. Seriously steep. I felt like I was climbing Mount Everest on a scooter. This is important! Wheelchair accessible is technically correct, but the practical reality needs some serious work. My rating for accessibility: 3 out of 5 stars. Needed to improve!
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges:
I could get to a restaurant. That's something.
Internet: (The Lifeblood of Modern Existence!)
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Praise be! And it actually worked, most of the time. Internet was… well, it was there. Internet [LAN] was available. I didn't even try it; why bother with the cable when you got this? Internet services were basically as described above. Wi-Fi in public areas – patchy, just like the reception on those ramps. However, after a day of not having it, it got frustrating if you needed to work.
Things to Do / Ways to Relax: (Spa Day? More like Spa… Maybe-Day?)
Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage – all sounded divine, right? My biggest regret? Not using them more! I did have a massage, and let me tell you: It was the perfect way to relax. They certainly knew how to work those knots out. Fitness center: Looked well equipped; I passed it several times. Wish I had gone and worked out! Gym/fitness. Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Foot Bath – I can't bring myself to be too critical, but I didn't use any of it. I really should have. Pool with view! This was the place to be. Honestly, just lounging by the pool was enough to forget about the world.
Swimming Pool! This was the highlight of my trip. The kids loved it, and it was surprisingly refreshing. Swimming pool [outdoor] – Yep, it certainly was.
Cleanliness and Safety: (Can't be too careful!)
The Anti-viral cleaning products gave me peace of mind. Breakfast in room. was nice, but was that for real? Breakfast takeaway service was better, but the food was alright. Cashless payment service was a godsend for me! Daily disinfection in common areas – it was a bit much, to be honest. Doctor/nurse on call – thankfully, I didn't need it. First aid kit – always a good thing. Hand sanitizer – everywhere! Hot water linen and laundry washing – a relief. Hygiene certification – probably. Individually-wrapped food options – good. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter – attempted. Professional-grade sanitizing services - seemed very diligent and professional. Room sanitization opt-out available – I liked that option. Rooms sanitized between stays – hope so! Safe dining setup – yes indeed. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items – fingers crossed. Shared stationery removed – perfect. Staff trained in safety protocol – definitely. Sterilizing equipment – I was sure it would be there somewhere!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: (Fueling the Adventure!)
A la carte in restaurant – I loved that. Alternative meal arrangement – all good. Asian breakfast – I ate mostly western food, so, no? Asian cuisine in restaurant – there. Bar – I loved the bar! Bottle of water – a lifesaver. Breakfast [buffet] – it was decent, at best. Breakfast service – standard. Buffet in restaurant – there was one. Coffee/tea in restaurant – yes. Coffee shop – a good place to chill. Desserts in restaurant – excellent. Happy hour – never saw it. International cuisine in restaurant – lots of choices. Poolside bar – great! Restaurants – several. Room service [24-hour] – I ordered chips at 3 am. Salad in restaurant – I had one. Snack bar – good for my kids! Soup in restaurant – loved it. Vegetarian restaurant – for those who needed it. Western breakfast – my go to. Western cuisine in restaurant – also available!
Services and Conveniences: (The Little Things… and the BIG ones!)
Air conditioning in public area – absolutely essential! Audio-visual equipment for special events – not my scene. Business facilities – I didn't see any. Cash withdrawal – very helpful. Concierge – helped a lot! Contactless check-in/out – smooth as silk. Convenience store – useful. Currency exchange – great. Daily housekeeping – much appreciated! Doorman – always smiling. Dry cleaning – never used it. Elevator – yes, thank you! Essential condiments – present. Facilities for disabled guests – needs improving. Food delivery – useful. Gift/souvenir shop – got some gifts. Indoor venue for special events – there where some! Invoice provided – yep. Ironing service – I hate ironing. Laundry service – good. Luggage storage – good stuff! Meeting/banquet facilities – plenty. Meetings – I had none. Meeting stationery – I’m sure there were. On-site event hosting – sounds good. Outdoor venue for special events – seemed good. Projector/LED display – not used. Safety deposit boxes – essential. Seminars – not for me. Shrine – a peaceful place. Smoking area – I saw one. Terrace – I liked it. Wi-Fi for special events – okay. Xerox/fax in business center – not for me. For the Kids: (Keeping the Little Monsters Happy!)
Babysitting service – didn't use it. Family/child friendly – YES! Kids facilities – saw them. Kids meal – I'm sure they had them.
Access: (Getting In and Out!)
CCTV in common areas – yes! CCTV outside property – also yes! Check-in/out [express] – yes indeed. Check-in/out [private] – wasn't needed. Couple's room – not for me. Exterior corridor – present. Fire extinguisher – good! Front desk [24-hour] – helpful. Hotel chain – yes! Non-smoking rooms – the norm. Pets allowed unavailable - No pets. Proposal spot – I didn't see one. Room decorations – okay. Safety/security feature – good. Security [24-hour] – present. Smoke alarms – good! Soundproof rooms – good.
Getting Around: (Navigating the Terrain!)
Airport transfer – didn't use it. Bicycle parking – there. Car park [free of charge] – essential. Car park [on-site] – helpful. Car power charging station – I'm not electric. Taxi service – good. Valet parking – not for me.
Available in All Rooms: (The Nitty Gritty!)
Additional toilet – I didn't see one. Air conditioning – vital! Alarm clock – present. Bathrobes – yes, thank goodness! Bathroom phone – not
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Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to embark on what I affectionately call the "Thana Apartment Chonburi Chaos Tour"! This isn't your sterile, perfectly-planned travel itinerary. Oh no. This is a living, breathing, slightly-deranged documentation of my time in Thana Apartment, Chonburi, complete with existential crises, mango-induced sugar rushes, and the existential dread of a rogue gecko.
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Water Bottle Crisis (and maybe a little existentialism)
- Morning: Landed in Suvarnabhumi Airport (BKK). Ugh, that airport! It's beautiful on the outside, but the inside is a logistical labyrinth designed to test your patience. Found my ride, a sweet, albeit slightly terrifying, taxi driver named Somchai who drove like he was auditioning for Fast and Furious: Thai Edition. (That's a movie I'd watch.)
- Afternoon: Arrived at the Thana Apartment. The place… well, it's functional. Air con that sounds like a dying walrus, a tiny kitchen area, and a bed that looks suspiciously like it could eat your soul. But hey, it's a roof over my head! The real drama? I was starving, absolutely famished. After a quick check-in and unload, I ventured out with my trusty map (which I can barely read, to be honest) to find some food. This is where the great water bottle crisis happened. I was thirsty, so I walked directly to a supermarket, only to realize I had no water bottle. So I was in the middle of a huge heat wave, and I was already incredibly upset with myself. So, yeah, I bought a new water bottle (duh) and some delicious mangos.
- Anecdote: I got slightly lost (shocking, I know). I ended up wandering down a side street, where a tiny dog with more attitude than a Kardashian stared me down. I swear, its bark sounded like a tiny, high-pitched lecture on my tourist fashion sense. I cowered, then scurried away, deeply grateful for the mango I was clutching.
- Evening: Dinner at a random street food stall. Pad Thai, of course. It was amazing! I swear, the spices were singing in my mouth and I was the happiest man on earth.
- Emotional Reaction: By the end of the day, I felt a profound sense of loneliness and yet an overwhelming sense of relief. Finally I was finally relaxed. I was so relaxed, I was considering moving here.
Day 2: Beach Bummin' (and Mango Mania!)
- Morning: Woke up feeling slightly like a boiled noodle. The apartment's air conditioning gave up the ghost sometime during the night. I tried to fix it (I am not an engineer), failed miserably, and gave up.
- Afternoon: Took a taxi to Bang Saen beach. It was… a beach. Crowded, hot, and filled with vendors selling everything from sunglasses to questionable seafood. I'm not normally a beach person, really.
- Impression: The sand felt amazing. I ordered a coconut water. I just laid there watching the waves.
- Rambling: But the waves were oddly hypnotic. I dozed off in a beach chair, only to be jolted awake by a screaming child (classic beach experience). I felt a wave of intense loneliness that came out of nowhere so I wandered the beach, feeling aimless.
- Evening: Back at the apartment, I gorged myself on mangos. I had like, 12! At first, I was thinking I should ration them throughout the day, but then I just couldn't help myself. The blood sugar crash that hit me later was intense. I felt like I was going to pass out.
- Emotional Reaction: The beach was okay. The mangos were a gift from the gods. I was both incredibly happy and slightly delirious.
- Quirky observation: I swear I saw a dog wearing sunglasses. I could have been hallucinating.
Day 3: The Temple of Tears (and the Gecko's Reign of Terror)
- Morning: The air con is officially dead. I'm sweating a river. And the gecko… it's back. Its little chirps, which started as a novelty, are now the soundtrack to my impending madness.
- Afternoon: Ventured out to a local temple. Wat Yansangwararam. It was beautiful. Serene. The architecture was breathtaking. It was a welcome escape from my slightly depressing apartment.
- Category: Temples are never not worth it, so I ended up spending a good chunk of the afternoon simply strolling through the different temple compounds.
- Rambles: I wandered around a little, trying to find my center. I am not a religious man, but there is something sacred about the architecture and the peace to be found in the temples.
- Evening: Back at the apartment. I tried to cook myself some instant noodles but, even though I had prepared myself, they were terrible.
- Emotional Reaction: More loneliness. More existential dread. The gecko's chirps feel… menacing. As if it knows my weaknesses and is mocking me. I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, I should start going to the gym and living a healthy lifestyle; but I went back to watch TV in my terrible apartment.
- Anecdote: While at the temple, I accidentally stepped on a sleeping cat. It let out a yowl that could shatter glass and I nearly had a heart attack. I apologized profusely in broken Thai. The cat just glared at me. I feel like this is a metaphor for my entire trip.
Day 4: The Great Food Hunt (and a Surprise)
- Morning: I woke up, slightly hungover, and incredibly confused. I was supposed to have left the apartment, but I had no idea where to go.
- Afternoon: After some deliberation, I decided to try and find a decent restaurant. This was quite an adventure. I walked for a long time. I met some great people. The food was fantastic!
- Opinion: I was absolutely determined to have a great meal. I walked all over the place determined.
- Surprise: On the way back to my apartment, I ran into a woman who was extremely kind to me. I ended up talking with her for the rest of the day. It seems that she really liked me, and I was quite surprised.
- Emotional Reaction: As I walked back to the apartment, I felt more grounded and incredibly grateful.
- Quirky observation: The city seemed different, I felt happier.
Day 5: (and onwards):
- I'm not even going to give you a day-by-day breakdown. It will be more of the same. More food, more existential crises, more geckos. More adventures. There may be a romantic interest. There will definitely be more mangos.
- I’m not sure what the rest of my trip will bring, but I hope it's messy, it's honest, and it's absolutely human. That's the only way to travel, isn't it?
Things to Note:
- My Thai language skills are nonexistent. Expect lots of pointing and gesturing.
- I bruise easily.
- My sense of direction is questionable. Prepare for lost-ness.
- I will probably over-pack. And overeat. And maybe overthink everything.
- Thana Apartment will be a source of both joy and misery.
So, there you have it. The Thana Apartment Chonburi Chaos Tour. Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride!
Escape to Paradise: Cocoville Phuket's Luxury Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Thana Apartment in Chonburi Awaits! (Err...Maybe)
So, what *is* this "Escape to Paradise" thing, exactly? Sounds a bit...much.
Okay, so "Escape to Paradise" is... well, it's supposed to be a chill, modern-looking apartment thing in Chonburi. They promise you sun-drenched balconies, a sparkling pool (which, side note, I *really* hope lives up to the hype – I'm a pool person through and through), and this whole "tranquil living" vibe. Honestly? The brochure photo was gorgeous. Maybe *too* gorgeous. Made me kinda suspicious, if I'm keeping it a hundred. Like, are they Photoshopping out the mosquitos? Because, let's be real, it's Thailand. There *will* be mosquitos. And probably geckos. And maybe the odd rogue cat. It's a package, I tell ya, with the good and the "Oh god, is that a...?"
Where *exactly* is it located in Chonburi? Because the brochure was vague…
Alright, buckle up, because this is where the "research" part kicked in. The brochure was playing coy, like it was trying to be elusive. Turns out it's somewhere in the Bangsaen area, which is…okay. Depends on your priorities. Bangsaen's got a beach, but it's not exactly Koh Phi Phi. It’s got some restaurants, some shops. I’d heard some good things about the food. But, and here’s a BIG but, traffic can be a straight-up nightmare, especially in the evening. You’ll need a car or motorbike, that's a must. You won't exactly be strolling to the nearest gourmet grocery. Oh, and also, keep an eye out for the stray dogs. Sweet, but also a little…assertive in their territorial claims. I've seen things.
What kind of apartments are we talking about? Sizes? Views? Amenities? (The important stuff!)
Okay, fine, let’s get down to brass tacks. They *claim* there are various sizes, from studio-ish things to… I think they said "family suites". Details are frustratingly sparse, so I'm betting a good chunk of the "research" is going to be calling them directly and just getting a sense of how they operate. The views… well, the brochure showed some kind of… jungle-y thing. Hopefully, it's not of a construction site. Amenities… they flashed a pool, a gym (which, let's be honest, I'll *maybe* use once), and some communal spaces that looked suspiciously sterile. My big question is: are the air conditioners decent? Because tropical humidity is a force of nature. And the internet. Don't talk to me if the internet's slow. I will lose my mind.
Is it actually...affordable? (Like, actually.)
"Affordable." That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? The brochure uses that word, of course. "Luxurious yet affordable living!" or something equally fluffy. It’s a marketing tactic, of course, so take that with a grain of salt, or a whole bag of salt, if you want a more realistic expectation. Since they're not being super upfront about the price, I’m expecting somewhere in the middle of the price range. I’m bracing myself. I mean, let's be honest, "affordable" to me is probably very different from "affordable" to a real estate agent. I'm going to have to call them directly. Which is a whole *process*. Getting the actual price is like pulling teeth. Wish me luck.
Okay, so you seem...hesitant. What are your concerns?
Hesitant? Honey, I’m practically clutching my pearls. It's not that I'm completely writing it off. I’m just a realist... or a paranoid overthinker, depending on the day. Firstly, the lack of detailed information is a huge red flag. Why the secrecy? Secondly, I'm worried about the quality of construction. Thailand has some amazing builders, and… well, let's just say it also has some… less amazing ones. Third, LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. Chonburi traffic, people. That alone might push me over the edge. And finally, I'm terrified of the whole "expat community" thing. Unless you're a social butterfly with a taste for all-you-can-eat buffets, it can be… intense. I don't want to end up in a karaoke bar belting out Bon Jovi with a bunch of strangers who think they're still in Pattaya. Ugh. The thought alone is giving me the creeps. So, yeah... I'm cautious.
What's the deal with the "Thana" part of the name? Is this supposed to be like... a luxury brand?
"Thana." That's the name, right? Ugh. I'm guessing it's supposed to sound...sophisticated? Or maybe it's a local developer's name. Honestly, it sounds like something you'd find in a finance movie, not a chill condo complex I'm supposed to be calling home. I'm picturing a boardroom full of men in crisp white shirts, talking about "synergy" and "market penetration." Which… doesn't really scream "Escape to Paradise," does it? More like, "Escape to… corporate buzzword bingo." I have a feeling that the word "luxury" will be thrown around a lot, and that will be an instant sign of potential trouble. But I'm keeping an open mind (for now).
Let's say you *did* move in. What's your biggest fear?
Oh, easy. Besides the mosquitos, the rogue cats, the questionable internet and the inevitable construction noise? Besides all that? My biggest fear is the *maintenance fees*. Because, let's face it, in these places, they're not cheap. I'm picturing a scenario where, after a few months, I'm being bled dry by hidden charges. The pool gets cleaned once a month. The security guards are perpetually asleep. The gym equipment is broken. And I'm stuck paying a fortune for the privilege. Or even worse, the dreaded *sinking feeling* that creeps in after you've committed to a year-long lease, and you're left feeling *trapped* and wishing you'd bought a tent and lived on the beach. I shutter. No, I'm more scared of *that* than the mosquitos.
What are your thoughts on the potential neighbours?
The neighbours… Okay, here's where things get dicey. You're going to have a mix. You'll *probablyFind Secret Hotel Deals
